Tierney Education to Offer Beer Pong Tutoring
Because Hand-Eye Coordination is a Life Skill
STATE COLLEGE, PA — In a groundbreaking fusion of academic rigor and party prep, Tierney Education has announced its latest offering: beer pong tutoring. Designed to help students refine their aim, develop teamwork, and master the subtle art of not hitting the ceiling fan, sessions are priced at $69/hour or $420 for the full semester.
“We view this as interdisciplinary skill-building,” said James Tierney, Founder and CEO. “There’s physics in the arc, psychology in the bluff, and kinesiology in the wrist flick. It’s basically a liberal arts education.”
Students will explore:
Physics: Calculating ideal launch angles and cup placement
Statistics: Understanding shot probability and bounce risk
Psychology: Building confidence, staying composed, and mind-gaming opponents
Kinesiology: Developing consistent throwing mechanics
Public Speaking: Calling ‘island’ with authority
“We want to support students in all areas of their lives—even the ones with red Solo cups,” said Kimberly Tierney, Academic Coach and reluctant participant in the test run.
Students are already seeing crossover success.
“After practicing my pong form, I crushed my physics lab on projectile motion,” said Brandon T., mechanical engineering major.
“I gained the confidence to raise my hand in class—and call re-racks with confidence,” said Natalie J., communications major.
“I learned that muscle memory is real, and that I have none,” said Evan M., still working on it.
While some have called the program “a misuse of educational resources,” Tierney remains unfazed. “Honestly, it’s more structured than half of what I did in grad school.”
Enrollment is open now—until April Fools' Day ends or until common sense kicks in.
For more info, visit www.tierneyeducation.com/resources/blog/beerpong
Because real success is about precision, preparation, and occasionally yelling ‘rollback!’